Mini-idea of the Week: You need to stop ‘TRYING’ to Relax

There are all kinds of stress reduction programmes around these days due to the fact modern life is moving too quickly for us.

We are propelled by technology into stressful fast lane living whether we like it or not. The impact affects us greatly.

We get a sense of being driven. We feel restless and tend to distract ourselves endlessly, which then creates the problem of tension and stress for us.

Relaxation is therefore something that is encouraged now in society to help us overcome the implications of modern day living.

There’s a problem telling people to relax.

I was recently listening to a podcast teaching relaxation. Ironically, the facilitator said they would not use the word ‘relaxation ‘because people ‘TRY’ to relax. So instead they used voice tone and the word- “soothing!”

Words and techniques are meant to help us and give us guidance. They are not meant to be commands that we should suddenly obsess and strive for.

Any kind of meditation technique, or language we use, is not to be taken as a commandment that you should relax NOW.

Think of that time when you were agitated or angry and someone told you to relax.

What happened?

I bet you didn’t suddenly relax.

‘RELAX!’ in terms of stress reduction would not help very much.

What does ‘relaxation’ mean to you?

For me it’s the ability to let go of the obsessive feeling I have to do something. It’s the ability to let go and let life be.

Letting go of the tendency that says:  

“I’ve got to get what I don’t have!”

“I’ve got to get rid of those things I don’t want!”

These subconscious influences stem from deep from inside us. We don’t even notice the re-occurring theme that arises again and again.

That’s why the word ‘relax’ can become another thing we have to do and strive for.

‘He says I have to relax! I should be able to relax, but I can’t! What’s wrong with me?’

What’s the solution?

We need to simply allow things to be the way they are.

It’s a sense of receptivity rather than a striving to get things and control the mind.

Let whatever mental state that is present be your experience to explore.

Stop ‘TRYING’ and let go and let life be whatever it is.

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